You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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