Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
