We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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