Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
