My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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