sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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