u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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