It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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