so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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