google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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