WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we're making bets on your personal life
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
