Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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