xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize