How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
