ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
