get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
