He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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