dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
