i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
