Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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