forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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