I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
