why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize