Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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