True but thats because hes a fetus.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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