WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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