I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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