So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
