Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
