If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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