It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
When are your genitals available?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
