it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
