Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
