Christians are straight up FREAKS
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
