I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
