He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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