You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
