no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i need an iv and a liver transplant
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
