They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
