Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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