im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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