hotel room ftw
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Randomize
