Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
