is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize