If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize