Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
