did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
