i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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