She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
