Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
are you so shy because you have an std?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
