So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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