I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
