everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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