if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
