just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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