so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
