Where did you get a picture of my penis
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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