Ambien. No doubt about it.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
