im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
