I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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