do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize