whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
